I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
