Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How naked do you want me to be?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
