I don't think brook has ever known best
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
