He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
