i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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