how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
