so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
high people should be assigned attendants
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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