physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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