if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
