I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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