I think I am morally bankrupt
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
