Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
