i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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