Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
