Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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