Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
