the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
