Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
