I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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