Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
