I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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