I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
