Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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