Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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