does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
