the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
