so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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