if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
