using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
did you just send me my own nude
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
