me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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