i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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