all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
