I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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