Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Barney's a jerk

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."

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(816): View more from Missouri

Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought

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(434): View more from Virginia

my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?

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(519): View more from Ontario

I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.

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