From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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