I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
