i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
