please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
