dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
