I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
sarcasm needs its own font
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
What a dumb baby whore.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
