no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
