please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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