out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
wow bdsm is so cute
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
