Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
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i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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