Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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