the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
