just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
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The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
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I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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