It's like a parade of train wrecks.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
