I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
