spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just blew my weed a kiss
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize