Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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