Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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