Whod you bang
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she pinky promised me she was 18
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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