Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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