they need to just BURY HIM!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
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You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
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I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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