considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
