My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's shark week go big or go home
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
