I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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