i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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