I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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