People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
