Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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