Me. At least after what I've been through.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.