Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...