The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
