Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(352): View more from Florida

She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.

Fav 31 3041 1619
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear

Fav 16 4578 796
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(240): View more from Maryland

I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...

Fav 17 1193 5065
share tweet
(604): View more from British Columbia

every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water

Fav 8 3541 1093
share tweet
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay

Fav 13 1300 2454
share tweet
(408): View more from California

I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.

Fav 2 665 1053
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby

Fav 1 1418 612
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us

Fav 0 492 841
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(416): View more from Toronto

I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.

Fav 1 35 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT