Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...