idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*