make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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