She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
50% drunk capacity currently
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.