okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested