sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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