I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
