ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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