Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Randomize
