He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
