she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
