you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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