i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Randomize
