508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
