Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
