You smell like stripper and shame
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
