apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
