i just google imaged poop.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
